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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755724">Day Job</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TorbjornLindholm/pseuds/TorbjornLindholm'>TorbjornLindholm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TorbjornLindholm/pseuds/TorbjornLindholm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>TL;DR: One day, monsters and bosses in an RPG universe retire all at once.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Day Job</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was just a silly little story I wrote. Thought I'd share. Enjoy! It's a bit rough (just like my other works, I think) and there's a long way to go... The formatting is a bit off, sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ouch!” the orc king shouted. “Don’t move. I need to pull that blade out of your thigh.” the death knight scorned. “Doc, I need help. Again.” The golem walked into the shack with an ax stuck on the head. “I’m a bit busy. Sit over there.” The death knight motioned to the golem without even taking the eye away from the wound on the orc king’s leg. The golem sat on the ground with a loud thud. The shack was filled to the ceiling with various monsters and armored and unarmored villains and residents of the world, ranging from a corrupted dwarf to a giant whose head is brushing up against the chandler hung high up on the ceiling. Their job? Acting in the dungeons for the players.</p><p>“It’s tiring. I have to go out there and get my ass kicked multiple times per week. I go here to get myself fixed, only to go out and break myself again.” The golem complained with a gravely voice. The dwarf who sat next to the golem sighed. He looked at the golem with his glowing orange eyes, with sympathetic look on his black, charred face. “I wonder what it would be like to be outside of this job. Don’t you think, my giant friend?” He turned around to look at the giant outside of the shack. “Don’t get me started.” The ice giant grumbled with a low voice. The giant was missing a leg and holding a big tree he ripped out from the forest to not fall over.</p><p>The death knight pulled out a broken dagger from the orc king’s leg. The orc king screamed. “Shut up!” The death knight hushed the orc king. The orc king whimpered. The death knight put a healing salve on the wound and tied a bandage over it. Just as the knight finished tying a knot, the lava golem and the big dragon entered, covered in arrows, swords and various kinds of bladed weapons stuck on their body. The weapons stuck on the lava golem’s body were glowing red with the handles on fire. “It’s the ax on your face again, isn’t it?” The death knight asked lava golem and the dragon. “Yes.” Both answered. “Hey dwarf, get your ass up that golem’s shoulder and pull that thing out. You know the drill.” The death knight told the dwarf, whose body and armor was glowing orange with heat. “Alright. Hey, get me up there.”</p><p>The dwarf told the lava golem to lift him up, and the golem put its hand on the ground. The dwarf climbed up the hand onto the shoulder. The dwarf pulled out arrows, axes and swords from the golem’s body. The dwarf threw the weapons on the wet ground. The dwarf then pressed on the gaping wound on the golem’s body and cast a spell to seal it up. The golem put its hand on the shoulder and the dwarf walked onto the hand. The golem lowered the dwarf back on the ground. “Go see that rock golem over there too.” The death knight told the dwarf as he moved over to look at the dragon. All of them were longing for the much-needed retirement, or at least a vacation from the tedious job of constant pain. Sure, it was their job, the injuries were being taken care of and they didn’t feel much pain anymore, but they didn’t feel good about continuing anymore. It was a job they started because they wanted it, but now they were weary of it.</p><p>“We can’t live like this. We want a break.” One of the monster said. “I agree.” The werewolf said as she pulled out arrows from the back. “This whole acting thing is making my life miserable.” The centaur complained. Everyone in the room agreed. “The players get the insurance, they get to choose their own weapons and professions and they can give up and flee every time they want. We can’t do that. When we die, the players stomp all over my fallen body until someone pulls me out of that spot, we have to use whatever weapon the director told us to use and we don’t get to give up fighting when we don’t want to fight. This is unfair.” The fire elemental said. “Let’s walk out of this stupid job.” The ice giant threw the mangled tree on the ground. “Yes! Fuck this job! I’m done with all this abuse!”</p><p>The players came back to the dungeons, only to find the entrance blocked with boulders, solid chunks of ice, columns of solidified lava, obsidian, fallen trees and rubble with a sign that says “I’m retired, go away”. No matter how hard the players tried, they couldn’t find the bosses and monsters. Failing to find any threats, the players stopped fighting and moved on with the lives. The village’s peace was restored, but the kingdom was in shambles -- They didn’t know why have the monsters decided to retire in all of sudden, where they went, what to do now -- the kingdom was not prepared for cases where there were no threats, because there was no point in the history where they weren’t under any attack -- and when they’ll return.</p><p>Regardless of what happened in the kingdom, the monsters and bosses have retired and moved to their dream jobs. The fire dwarf started carpentry, the ice giant married with the god of weather to provide gifts for children in the Yuletide and even giving up his giant form to be more approachable to the children (and getting a more familiar name instead of the traditional ice giant name, Santa Claus), the death knight got a job as voice counselor to help people be more confident in acting, stone golems started the construction business, the dragons moved onto the show effect businesses, lava golems started the geothermal heating system businesses, werewolves started the jewelry-crafting store, the orc king now practices in the sword-fighting academy, and the rest of the monsters and the centaurs now work as the guardians of the forest, working to maintain the nature better than any human ever could.</p><p>~ The end ~</p>
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